Hi, I am
Ron and I have Pre Travel Anxiety. Right now, I am in the middle of it with a
2-day business trip coming up next week. It is really no big deal, but to me,
it feels like there’s a big black wall coming up, blocking all views of
everything else. And I am headed right into it.
As far as I can tell, I have always felt a
certain tension and a bit of anxiety about upcoming travel, also as a child. I
also think that my father had to deal with this, and that may have been a bit
contagious. Let me tell you briefly what happens to me.
Usually,
this things starts about one month before the actual travel date. I’m beginning
to realize that something is afoot, but, as I then tell myself, it is still
safely far away in time. No need to worry yet, but the feeling is there.
As the date approaches, I start a mental count down: so many days of work, so many weekends, so many workouts and so on, and my tension increases as these numbers increase. It means that the last few days before the trip are difficult as there is nothing anymore to put between me and that wall.
Then there
is the mental preparation, where I start playing all kinds of ‘disaster
scenarios’ in my head, usually as “what can I do if so and so happens?”. To
give an example, this morning I was checking if there are hotels near the
airport where I am flying into, in case my return flight gets cancelled: do I travel
back into town or can I just walk over for a place to stay? That kind of thing
(and yes, that has happened to me in the past!).
There is
also a heightened awareness of everything and anything that has the potential
of becoming a ‘disaster’ with me being absent. A strange noise in the car, a
different behaviour of our pets, a strange feeling in my left foot, things that
you normally don’t think about but that may break during my trip: my glasses,
my shoes and what am I going to do if that happens?
In the days
before the trip these all increase in intensity until my mind is fully occupied
with it. If I let that happened, that is, and I usually donlt, seeking all
kinds of distractions: workouts, walks, games, movies, going out. This helps a
lot, but there are times when this is getting overwhelming which leads to
full-blown anxiety attacks. The best thing
I can do is ‘ride that wave’ when it comes. It usually lasts a few minutes
before petering out, but it is annoying, to say the least. There’s one bit of comfort in all this: when I am finally
on my way, this all disappears and I actually enjoy the trip and wonder what
all the fuzz was all about. Until the next one….
If you
google “pre travel anxiety’ , one of the first things you find out is that this
is a lot more common than you might think. Indeed, when talking to people, many will admit they have a usually milder
version of this. But genuine pretravel anxiety is also quite common and you
will find a lot of tips on how to deal with it: find relaxation and
distractions, prepare your trip well, and maybe most important of all: don’t fight
it. Most writers also agree that it will never go away completely, but it can
be brought back to manageable levels.
I am currently I the position where I –reluctantly, I admit- have to accept that I have this condition and that it will not go away, no matter what I try. So far, I have been fighting it, both consciously and subconsciously, I have been seeing it as a sign of weakness (though it never stopped me from actually traveling!), I have been denying its existence, until that was no longer tenable and I have been exploring various traumas in my past as possible causes of this. Some of that helped a bit, buit now it is time to accept that which I cannot change and that is that I have this condition called Pre Travel Anxiety.
I am currently I the position where I –reluctantly, I admit- have to accept that I have this condition and that it will not go away, no matter what I try. So far, I have been fighting it, both consciously and subconsciously, I have been seeing it as a sign of weakness (though it never stopped me from actually traveling!), I have been denying its existence, until that was no longer tenable and I have been exploring various traumas in my past as possible causes of this. Some of that helped a bit, buit now it is time to accept that which I cannot change and that is that I have this condition called Pre Travel Anxiety.
It means
that for my next trip, I need to be prepared to face this as soon as it
manifests itself instead of going into denial until I can sustain that no
longer. I also need to learn how to work with it, instead of against it, and
maybe, who knows , I can turn it into an asset instead of an impediment. After
all, nobody goes on a trip as prepared for anything as I am!